Grand!

I went down to the condo this morning to let in the concrete contractors, who will be transforming my dull concrete floor into a polished and colorful masterpiece over the course of this week. I then snatched a ride on MAX back to work and endured its exhausting dance through the downtown loop.

With the improvements of the transit system in KC and the advent of the Metro Area Express, many of the popular bus routes now have GPS-enabled computerized voice announcements of upcoming stops. Granted, it usually says the name of the stop as you pass through the intersection, but it is an improvement.

What I find most interesting about this system is that the computerized woman seems to have very thinly veiled opinions about some of our major urban corridors.

Broadway? She isn't so hot on that, droning out "Broad-way" in a laborious, two step statement with a deadpan inflection. She is still working on mastering saying the word in one smooth statement.

Main? She is firm. "MAIN and 39th." I always have the feeling she is a bit uninspired about the street and is just waiting for it to go away so she can say the fun things like "Union Station" or "Plaza."

The one she is excited about, counterintuitvely, is Grand. I suspect the programmers told the voice that "grand" is a word people use in positive contexts, so if ending a statement with it, it should have a dramatic ride in inflection. She complies. She chirps out the word "Grand" in a high pitched, excited chirp, as if she is encouraging you to pull that yellow cord right away and check out this street. It is simply GRAND!

I wish she were more right about that.